Dress it Up Between the Hedges

Tee it up between the hedges?  No way. If you know anything about

Collegiate Code

I.                 Article: Female

          A.      Section: Social Acceptance

         i.         Sub-Heading: Cute

you will not be caught dead in a T-shirt on Saturday.

Football-where fashion forgoes function every time, right?

Take the Gameday Dress.

The University girl’s wardrobe staple(s) for every fall. We have to celebrate our fashion-conscientious individuality-just like everyone else.

Look how great she looks. I’ll bet she’s rocking some red heels too. Don’t you want to be her? I do.

So, I’ve got my dresses and my shoes. Let’s go over my

It’s Saturday in Athens Agenda

• Get ready!!!
• I'm attempting to look as much like the Entourage models as time, products and God’s grace and mercy will allow.
• Tailgate!
• Wait, it’s 97 degrees out here? My dress is already sticking to my butt and I don’t dare raise my arms for fear of releasing a fetor potent enough to make Pig-Pen plug his schnoz. The humidity is ravishing my hair and I’m starting to resemble Beyoncé in Austin Powers in Goldmember.  
• Game time.
• Hold on. Bleachers? I wore heels and we’re sitting on the top row.  At least now I get to stand still...for three hours under direct sunlight? I’m exposing as much skin as possible. I’ve been here half an hour and my nose is peeling.  
• Fourth Quarter Salute...my hair is in a crazy bun on top of my head, my shoes are in hand, and my forehead is dripping enough salt for a McDonald’s fry order-Supersized.  

I can’t be the only one this uncomfortable. So why do we try so hard? Why does such a vast feminine majority dress themselves up for failure?

Do we just want to take advantage of any opportunity to wear a pretty dress? Are we trying to fit in or impress our friends? Are we paying some sort of homage to the sanctity of Sanford?

Thoughts or potential outfit ideas below. But please, no cut-off tanks or belly paint. The Code dictates I draw the line somewhere.