PDA: Public Displays of Annoyance

Congratulations, you just ruined my lunch. And I have no idea who you are.

I’m simply trying to enjoy a euphoric moment with my Chick- Fil-A sandwich and you’re practically fornicating in the Tate Grand Hall.

Okay, fine, I over exaggerate.

But sharing iPod earbuds and feeding one another in blatant view of students is the public equivalent of foreplay. And I have no interest in joining in some kind of voyeuristic ménage trois.

Perhaps it’s the warm weather that has heightened coed’s libidos this season, but I have never seen such overtly expressive displays of public affection. From being practically welded together in the SLC, holding a kiss before a lecture starts in a three hundred-person class, or even getting a nice handful at the Tate Plaza bus stop, PDA is everywhere. Are you actually aware of how many people are around?

Then there’s what I have dubbed the “couple shuffle”. For some reason this is generally specific to one type of couple: the athlete-esque jock with swollen arms and “shorts” grazing his calves, entwined around a petite, box-highlighted pixie. He’s all but pushing her forward with his arm cuffed around her waist. She’s not a balloon. She won’t float away. And I assure you, she can’t run in them little high heels.

Even worse is when a couple looks like they could be related. Two toe-head blondes of similar height, and god forbid, in matching clothing, macking on each other is just plain creepy.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m by no means a cold-hearted person. When I’m in a committed relationship, I have no problem with a soft kiss on the cheek or tender hand on my leg while we’re out with a group. But I’m not about give you a lap dance in a student learning center.

Let us not forget the most crucial thing of all: we are in college. Preparing ourselves for careers and the “real world”. This is no longer high school where it was adorable to paint your crush’s football number on your cheek and skip down to the end zone after he scored the winning touchdown, only to leap into his arms. We are surrounded by professors and professionals that could potentially further or impede our hopeful careers.

Unfortunately, the public displays of affection (annoyance) have diffused into a rampant epidemic. And the fine line between endearing and obnoxious has been violated.